i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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