Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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