I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she looked like the before picture.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize