We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize