End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
