i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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