that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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