I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
