One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize