remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
