I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I need water and some morals
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
