Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
