ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize