can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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