Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
