She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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