I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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