dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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