in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
