I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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