Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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