Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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