STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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