on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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