How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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