Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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