I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
