I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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