Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She announced her abortion via fbk
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
NoShamevember. You game?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize