Pappa wants mamma naked
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize