I just made out with a guy for $7.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
