You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i think i have herpe
just one?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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