I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
