The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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