I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize