i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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