is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
