Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The adults are the big ones right?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
