As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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