AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
