are you so shy because you have an std?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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