Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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