So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
