u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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