return my video game
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
