butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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