I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize