I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
