I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm always down for nudity.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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