I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
