i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize