So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
