I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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