Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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