BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
