I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
