Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
