perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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