Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
