I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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