So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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