is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
