I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Warsđ
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He sang the chorus to âInside of youâ by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldnât even be mad, that probably took talent
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