So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
