Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
