Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I didn't notice because vodka
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
