Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm like, not good at living.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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