considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
