idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
