when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
MIDGETS
????
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
