I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
